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Polka is for Lovers

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Back Back Back With The Gloomy Weather [26 Nov 2006|12:58pm]
[ mood | Gloooomba ]


(by milleduc on deviantart.)

Finally back from Thanksgiving break. I have been neglecting this livejournal because I have to keep a journal for one of my classes, and multiple journals never work out.
I can hardly handle one.
But as my thoughts today have nothing to do with creativity or psychology, I'll pass on ye olde journale for classe.

I spent all break at my boyfriend's house. He lives in this cute area in PN.
I had fun
I was on this permanent high
from being separated from the norm
Now I'm back and my mother is being a pain in the ass
as well as a real downer. Who tries to guilt trip their daughter about not spending time with her over break, when she always spends her time with her boyfriend? She kept giving me this line, "you chose who you wanted to spend break with." No, I chose not to attend her boyfriend's family holiday function (again). I feel so remote.
And now my boyfriend's acting all sad.

I know this gloomyness will pass, and soon. This is my downward dip in the roller coaster
up again.
up
Before it goes up
and I know it will.
I just have to tough this part out.

I have so many damn art projects to do.
Hissssssssss

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Coffee spills? Three. Life experiences? Three. [11 Sep 2006|08:29pm]
[ mood | Chilllllll ]

I had mediocre expectations for this year. I thought my college selection would be okay, my roommate okay, my classes okay, and no job. Instead, I love SLU, my roommate is the coolest person ever, I'm in all the classes I want, and I have the best job ever. Thank God I got fired from Cuca's. I moved from rolling burritos to working in the Costume Closet. Not only is the job itself amazing, but all the people are so much fun and my boss is so quirky and nice. Nice boss?! Yeah, I have one. She's the best.

I mean, I'm not bonding as much with people as I woud like to, but I do enjoy my alone time. I like my friends now. I like meeting people and that new feeling. I don't have to throw myself into anything just yet.

TWO THINGS I DISLIKE ABOUT COLLEGE:

1. The showers. Public, not gross or anything, but you never know who was in them, and who might come in at any minute and see you nekked.

2. The food. Awwwwww I miss cooking for myself! Or my mom cooking for me. I want meat, potatos, and Chinese food an incredible amount.

Everything else is amazing. I even like the extra work.
So I say now. In a few weeks I'll probably be kicking myself for saying that.

I love Taking Back Sunday, Jamiroquai, and Camille.

Peace.

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NY, NY [06 Aug 2006|03:30pm]


Ah, New York.
My first time ever there, and I get to see Rent (front row, center!) AND see my idol in person, JK Rowling. She was amazing. She made me want to be a writer. But God knows what I could write about.
So as summer draws to a close- tear- I find it finally important to figure out my college stuff. Ha ha. I have a lot of paperwork to submit, as well as figure out what courses to take, etc.
I am now fully equipped with a laptop, an iPod, and one of those iHome dealies. Ahhhh technology. I lived so long without it. Not being able to listen to any music not on CDs, it was really rough. Now I am in 7th heaven.
But also bored.
My room is so anally clean now, I've begun to worry about myself. Maybe it's healthy, but I've never been so crazy about cleanliness and organization.
Here I'm off to read up about my college, sign up for some classes, you know, unimportant things.
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Why, hello there. [28 Jul 2006|01:13pm]
Hello livejournal.

My myspace died. At least, I think it did. I tried to log in and it said "this account does not exist, or the user has deleted it." Well, I know I didn't delete it, and it's probably just an error, but I felt kind of relieved. Myspace sucks you in and makes you (well, it makes me feel) like it's the gigantic high school I never went to, and you're not pretty/popular enough. I'm not making another-
So I say, then I'll probably end up doing it tomorrow.

Livejournal is so much more dependable.

Anyway, I read some "detailed" description of Geminis, and scarily I fit the profile too well. I'm not a flake, I don't think, but I have my moments. Supposedley, geminis are inately gifted at writing. I never thought I was good until this year, when I took two englishes and did scarily well. I like how you can minipulate language in prose, I find it interesting.
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Hotel Lights [20 Jun 2006|10:51am]
[ mood | Apathetic. ]



I went to this site and saved all the music they suggested.
It's amazing stuff, I was astonished.
Hotel Lights is amazing.

Anyway, life as of late- summer, so wonderfully dull.
I have to regents today, blech. I should probably review before I go. But that sounds so gross right now.

I'm sorry this post is completely pointless.

Everyone asks me if I'm excited for college, and I'm not. It'll probably be fun, but I'm not excited. To get to my college, I'm going across main street, big move, big whoop.

I'm excited because my clothes are boss. Crap yes. I went thrifting and found some really good finds.

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[03 Jun 2006|12:20pm]
[ mood | hungry ]



So I just finished reading that book that the world was in an uproar because she plagarized. And now I have no doubts she plagarized. I think she had a message, but she didn't have the voice to say it in. So she used all the things in books and movies (and some from her life) that could help. But they weren't really hers.

So, now that I'm seventeen, I believe I have enough years under my belt to define myself.

Hi. I'm Lucia. Only people who really know me call me that. My name doesn't exactly fit, but neither does Aleks. But somewhere between Lucia and Aleks, it fits. I just have to adjust a bit.
I define myself by my aptitude in art and my blonde hair, and my pale skin, and my love for fashion, Sex and the City, the OC, Paris, and modern art. I think people define me by my eyes, my shyness, my aloofness. I'm not stuck up. I just only talk when I have something to say.
I've come to realise that life isn't about what firsts you've achieved or goals you've achieved. It's about how many times you really feel. Or for me, don't feel occasionally. For example, cool rainy saturdays and fresh coffee. Reading a really good book. Being midway through a good charcoal drawing (of a face) when it looks real. Photographs of beaches I took and memories of being with my family in San Fransisco. Remembering being with my brother in my room, me jumping on a trampoline, my parents fighting. Dancing drunk with french girls and not giving a fuck that I looked like an idiot. Finding my cowboy book Luella bag for five dollars. Lying creepily (and sweatily) with three of your best friends in my sweltering hot room, watching Brokeback Mountain, laughing insanely. Lying with three of my best friends in my bed before the premiere of the fourth Harry Potter movie. Getting a text message from a guy you used to like but now hardly know at midnight wishing me a happy birthday. Crying on a bateau-mouche on the Siene because Paris is too beautiful.
I like to write stories but I'd never show them to anyone. Not until they're good enough. I'm like that plagarizing Harvard girl. I have something to say, but I'm not quite sure of how I should say it. I'm using my own words, though. But now, they just don't fit right.
I like the progress of knitting. I like making my own clothes. I aspire to be Marissa Cooper/Carrie Bradshaw- sans drug problems. Or dying. I aspire to end up in life where I don't have to worry about money, rent, deadlines, where I make enough to get by and keep me happy but not so much were I'm lost. I aspire to have a gigantic walk-in closet.
I aspire to not care about what people think about me anymore, because everyone cares. People who deny it are just kidding themselves. But I'm a step closer to that point, I no longer have multitudes of bitchy things to say about people anymore. I'm staying afloat and liking it.

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[31 May 2006|06:40pm]
Happy birthday to me

1-7 sounds too old for me. I don't think I'm 17. I'm older and I'm younger. But I'm not at 17 yet.

I did get some pretty sweet presents though.
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Cheers [27 May 2006|12:19pm]
[ mood | Infrequent Pedicure ]



Here's to my future
...



Oh fuck, I knew it was overrated.

Birthday soon- I want to do something like a picnic again, but I'm not sure.
Graduating soon. Job starts soon. 17 soon. However, I really don't care.
I don't care if I go to a graduation party. I'm just glad to get out.
Complete blast-from-the-past yesterday: my mentally-challenged friend, Wesley, came to visit before he moves to Minnesota. It was like a year hadn't passed- I walked into the lunch room and lo and behold, Wesley's at the same table, waiting for us. We didn't even care when he spat everywhere.

I think my neighbors got their kid- the worst victim of ADHD I have ever seen, as well as the most obnoxious person below 35 I have ever come across (he's 9 or so)- drums. How smart. First, a BB gun, now drums. SMART.

The girls who have started saying "I don't care about my appearance anymore" are those girls who care so much about their image. The new trend: caring to look like you don't care. And I know they care so much, it's funny. THe irony is ooooooozing everywhere. Ew. I hope I don't step in it.




Embrace bed head.

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RIP [18 May 2006|10:46pm]
[ mood | Ambiguous. ]


My favorite characters always die. That guy on lost, and now Marissa. I loved Marissa. If Carrie Bradshaw died-
So Marissa was a bit weak at times.

So my life as of late.
I think it's been getting better. I'm feeling more. I'm talking more. And I sleep like a rock, but never too late anymore.
But I would probably still be shit if I didn't have alone time in the morning, friends in the day, and my mom at night. And music. Oh and coffee.

I've been starting to think about my place in things. Who I am to other people, who I am to myself. Where I'm going, where I've been. Cheezy shit like that. But what else is there to do, when you walk down school halls, or sit in dull study halls? I stopped caring about what people think about me long ago, so there goes that constant obsession. From reactions I've gotten from underclassman as of late, and a few upperclassmen, I think I'm that girl that you hate if you don't know her. I appear to be a snob. I'm just shy sometimes. But I no longer think i'm socially retarded. I can be fairly outgoing when I want to. Which is rarely, but it's reassuring.
And for where I'm going? I don't know. I have enough faith in myself to trust myself to know what I want, and that's good enough for me. I'm not going to plan out my life, or my career. I want to find what I like and go with it.
I don't know if Saint Lawrence is really what I want, but it's a step, a step somewhere.

I don't believe in fate, or destiny, or soul mates. I think life is the choices we make. And in effect, that's a kind of kharma. I believe that every thing you do for someone that is nice, somehow it gets back to you. And no, not by some cosmic energy chain of events.

I think that 3/4 of the people I know are really fake, and would be so much better if they let it go. The seldom few I know that don't put on an act are amazing. I hope I am to them what they are to me.

I need to sleep. I do have school tomorrow.
Je vous aime, toujour. Jusqu'a les etoiles tombent.

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[10 May 2006|09:03pm]

I like how I can concentrate, and do homework. [sarcastic]
So the entirety of my diet for the past two days has been bagels and Kashi "Strawberry Fields." Not exactly a culinary wonder, but not horrible, either.
I think I'm the least productive person I know. It's getting farily ridiculous.
I had something to say when I started this post, but it's gone.
That shitsters.
My mind's been pretty blank, as of late.
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[07 May 2006|09:38am]
[ mood | Oh Coffee.. ]



I feel like writing about France now.
So, after bitching and bitching with my mom and
Planning and planning with my teachers and
Working and working at school- I mean not really but-
April 5 I, and about 15 of my closest friends [and about 5 I hated]
Went to FRANCE
Nogent le Routrou, to be exact
I'm the kind of girl who likes to travel alone
But going with my friends was amazing
Up until then I had been kind of melancholy and anti social
But this snapped me out of it
My corress was kind of wierd and kind of a bitch
[She only spoke english to me because she thought I couldn't speak french]
But I still managed to have fun
And I am definitley not a party kind of person
But the french know how to party
i.e. renting out nasty, unfurnished houses just for the sake of partying and
Setting up sheds to have parties in
So I got into it
And Paris was unbelieveable
I knew it was my city from the second I stepped foot in it
We went on a bateau-mouche at dusk, and it was the most amazing experience of my life
I was sitting with two of my best friends and
We laughed and cried
Oh and some dudes mooned us, twice
As in they mooned us on one bridge and then got on a moped and then mooned us on another
I met so many amazing people
Like kids who live 10 minutes from me who I never would have met
And I remet friends who I stopped being friends with
And I'm so glad I'm friends again with
And the last night we were there, we all stayed up and danced the entire night
If I wasn't so sick I would have blatted my eyes out
I know I'll go back to France, definitley Paris
And I really hope I see all the frenchies again
Even though I wrote a lot, I can't begin to explain what it was like.
Just that it was amazing.

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To All Of You [06 May 2006|07:40pm]
It's been a long long time
I've just been very busy
Excuses, excuses, I know.
But it's [kind of] the truth
The end of the school year looms
And with it will be the end of high school
I am excited excited excited
Even though I'm not going to my college of choice
It's college nonetheless

Things I Couldn't Live Without Now:
.My iPod shuffle. He saaaaves my life.
.My notebook[s]. I've been writing a lot lately. It's my release.
.The O.C. It's nice to escape to California once a week
.My camera.
.Books. I'm always reading.
.Coffee. But that's not a 'now' thing, it's a 'life essential' thing.
.My straightener. Now that half of my hair has been cut into bangs... (not on my doing)
.Ballet flats. They go with everything
.Friends. Particularly those lost and recently found.
.The internet. Once again, obvious.
.Graphing calculator. I wouldn't be passing math without it.
.Sweatpants. Aren't I gross?

I PROMISE to update again. Soon.
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[11 Dec 2005|06:38pm]
I can't wait to get out of high school. Everything about it pisses me off. At least as of late.
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Normal [13 Nov 2005|12:54am]
Normal's a pretty funny term.
All very relative.

I've always defined myself in certain terms.
Shy, reserved, calculating, observative, mysterious.

I asked my friends what they thought of me- I had to describe myself for some foriegn exchange dealie.
And they told me stuff I didn't expect.
Happy, very friendly, easy to hang out with, funny (I got that one alot, I definitley did not think of myself as funny), smart, cuddly.

And then within the last 3 months two people who know me really well told me I'm strong.
So strong that they are astounded.
Surprised that I'm so normal with what I go through.
I didn't think things were/are that bad.
But you never know until it's brought to your attention by someone else.
They really aren't.
Just tough with what I have been through.

This is one vague post.
Oh well.
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Hide and Seek [10 Nov 2005|10:58pm]
[ mood | Good song feeling ]

Four day weekend.
Amazing week. Wednesday four bus-loads of kids (and that is a large chunk of our school, mind you) went to some soccer game 2.75 hours drive away from our school.
It rained and it was extremely cold.
I didn't wear a jacket.
Because I made a super tee shirt that I had to show off.
I love my school so much.
The soccer coach/my 8th grade math teacher got on the morning announcements to tell us to stand up, put our right fists in the air, and on three, yell "BEARS!"
Too bad no one heard the one two
But we tried.
And we won.
I went insane.
I was insane.


Today I did some try out bit for dance team.
Not horrible, I really hope I make it though.
You'd think that about 12 or so years of dancing would assure me a place on it.
But I can never be too sure.
Today we coreographed the first bit of our routine that we have to make up.
It's pretty good.
I love dancing, I forgot how much I did.

I love Imogen Heap.
Hide & Seek is just beautiful.
Goooood mood right now.
This is before the panic of how much crap I have to do sets in.

I love getting to know (again) old friends. Sitting and down and talking.
Really talking, not gossiping or storytelling.
Friends are good.

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I hope Gatsby dies. Oh wait, that he did :) [12 Oct 2005|11:35pm]
[ mood | Whoawhoawhoalatehomework ]

So, I tend to procrastinate to a terrible degree, and no matter what I do, my homework drags on until 10, 11, 12 at night. Tonight's assignment is writing poems about The Great Gatsby, who is not great at all in my opinion. He's a pussy. He's stupid. So I got really angry in my poem about a theme of the novel, and I just started typing to get ideas down, and this is the result:

The theme is how shitty the upper class is
Do you want me to put in some fancy words?
Okay, fine, you pretentious poodle.
Proliferate, aggrandize, repugnancy.
We can all hold hands and bang on pianos
Have sex through smiles
And stalk girls named after flowers
I think we can make it a little more cliche.
Let's have Daisy be an ex-prostitute.
I think Tom grows up to be fat.
But then he buys himself a new ass.
So it's all good.
They say if you love somebody, hit them with a car.
And then lie about it.
Silk shirts falling like snowflakes.
Oh, how beautiful they are. Those shirts. The beauty radiates.
Solluable.
Rich people lust after lights and silk shirts.


God yes I am smart. (I also get really sarcastic at this point of homework hysteria.)

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THE USED [11 Oct 2005|05:21pm]
[ mood | Oh yes, let's use Aleks. ]

So, I'm obsessively cleaning/organizing, which means one of two things: I'm lonely, or pissed off.

I think I'll go with choice number two, Stan.

I mean, who the fuck are they to tell me what to do with my house?! Arrrrrgh.

I can explain. So, homecoming this weekend. My mom leaves me at home alone alot for the weekends, which is good and bad. Thought she would be gone this weekend, so I offered that we could hang out at my house before the dance.

Well then my College-Joe brother is home that weekend. So we would be confined to the basement, but that's no big. By the way, my brother would be a prime example of a substance-phobe. We had an alcoholic dad who did alot of drugs, and he got the majority of the verbal abuse. So if I were in his shoes I guess I would, too. Plus, I don't want to claim that my brother or I are better than anyone else, but we can entertain ourselves without alcohol. And if he found out I was drinking, he would rat me out like Peter Pettigrew.

So, I began to feel like the situation wasn't good. Like I would get in alot of trouble, we'd get in trouble in school and since I skipped my junior year and all the man would get all "ohh you need to set a good example" on me. Just because he can. I decided to kick 4 people out, just because I knew they'd be loud drunks, but then one of the people I didn't kick out told me the next day "I feel bad about kicking out so and so. Let's invite them back." And after I blatently said no, I guess she invited them back. Err, MY HOUSE. MINE MINE MINE NO DRINKY AT MY HOUSE. And there's no alcohol at my house ever anyway, so it's just a bad idea.

My mom is staying home now. So everyone's out. We either find a new house or don't drink. And people will live. They can cry all they fucking want, and try to use me and then talk about how they've been used, even though I'm not the one doing the using, but TOO FUCKING BAD YOURE NOT COMING TO MY HOUSE.










I feel better.

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I hate you, layout. [30 Jul 2005|12:35pm]
[ mood | relaxed ]

"I like your shirt that says 'Bling Bling.'"
-My very Polish Grandma.So insert accent there.

I really should wear that shirt more often. Yeah, I fucking hate livejournal layouts. They suck maaaaajor wang. They should just accept normal html and then we can all be happy.

I've come to the conclusion that I can be dull. And you know what? I don't mind a bit. I like knitting and reading and drawing, and just relaxing. I think at times my life goes faster than I'd like, not just time, but events. Other times I love being social and crazy. But I guess I subconciously balance it out. Which I like about myself. Word to yuh muthah.

I like The Vines. And The Shins.

Love, your local Polka.

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[29 May 2005|10:45pm]
Ugh, I hate this layout. But I have no clue what I'm doing, so until someone can help me... PLEASE HELP ME!!
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Faithfully.... I'm still YOUUUUURS! [28 May 2005|09:10pm]
[ mood | Dragonflies?! ]

So, I was outside today, attempting to make my deathly pale skin look remotely healthy, and I swear I saw the most dragonflies in that 20 minutes I was outside than I have in my whole life. It was pretty cool, all these black birds and bugs would fly overhead and against the incredibly blue sky and bright white clouds, it was so cool. I don't mean to get all.. *puppy dog eyes* on you, but it was intresting.

About my current picture... it's my friend's cat, and we put sour cream on its nose and took a bunch of pictures. I just love this one- the legs! Aah, it's hilarious. I definitley didn't meant to get so scarily close, though. And check out the eyes! Scary stuff.

Much love

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